While many people look forward to seeing family over Thanksgiving, there are plenty of those who dread it, especially since they know they are bound to be asked some uncomfortable, awkward, or even invasive questions from aunts, uncles, grandparents etc.
Whether it’s questions about your love life, when you’re starting a family, or even politics, navigating the holidays without starting a full-blown fight isn’t easy, but one expert has some suggestions on how to handle it.
Liz Kelly, a licensed clinical social worker with Talkspace, notes that holidays can be complicated, and “highlight complex family dynamics,” but heading into them with a plan can make things go more smoothly.
Tips of navigating uncomfortable questions at the holidays include:Mentally prepare for unwanted questions – You know they are going to come, so head into that family dinner with the right mind set. Kelly suggests making sure you are rested and take some time for physical activity or being outside to mentally prepare yourself to deal with what’s to come. Also, be aware of questions you may be uncomfortable with so you can plan your responses ahead of time.
- Decide how to respond in your comfort zone – Kelly reminds people “you don’t owe anyone any information,” and you should only “share whatever you feel comfortable sharing.” She suggests keeping answers simple, and then quickly changing the subject.
- Set boundaries for your mental health – You shouldn’t feel the need to explain yourself if you don’t want to answer questions. If people push be ready to just repeat something to the effect of “That’s not something I feel comfortable discussing.'” Also, simply asking people to respect your boundaries can help.
- Give consequences to overstepping boundaries – If someone isn’t willing to respect your boundaries, let them know they’ll be consequences, like you walking out of a room, and even prepare an exit strategy should things worsen.
- Set up a support system – Find a friend, or supportive family member to lean on when things get difficult. It’s always good to have someone defend you when someone tries to overstep.
- Find a way to recharge your emotional batteries – Once the night is over, do something for yourself to shake off what you’ve gone through.
Source: USA Today