Ever leave a conversation asking yourself, “why did I just tell them that?!”
If so, I see you, I feel you, I hear you.
The world is so connected today that we feel compelled to share our thoughts, experiences and emotions with every outlet, irl and online. All that self-disclosure can lead to revealing an excessive amount of personal information, beyond what’s considered appropriate or necessary. And sometimes, ya know, that’s just not a good look. (You know the Facebook posts I’m talking about.)
We unintentionally overshare without considering the potential downsides, which can include damaging your relationships and your reputation. Being able to stop yourself from oversharing is an important tool to have, so how do we do it? Lawyer Jefferson Fisher has suggestions:
Add a “now” filter to the question
Ask yourself: “But do they need to know it NOW?” If you think someone needs to know this information, decide if now is the best time to share it. The answer is often no, so this question can help you hold back rather than reveal.
Stop undervaluing the “price” of your words
According to Fisher, people tend to forget that their words are worth something and they end up oversharing, even when answering a seemingly harmless question at work, like, “How was your weekend?” Taking a pause to consider what your words are worth can help stop you from divulging too much personal information.
Understand that true connection rarely comes from talking about yourself
If all you do is talk about yourself, you won’t hear what others have to say, so you’ll miss out on really connecting. Instead, try taking a breath, pausing and listening, then you’re less likely to overshare.
Establish boundaries (and actually stick to them)
Take time to think about what you feel comfortable sharing with others and what you consider private, then make an effort to stand by that. Being selective about the details you share can help you become more self-aware, which is key to not oversharing.
Source: Your Tango